If you pull me on your lap there is a 101% chance I’m going to make out with you.
i would advise you to avoid santa
(via dutchster)Give Me Hickies 💕
there are too many pictures of mermaids in sexy poses and not enough of them drowning and eating men. whats up with that
(via hertroubledparadise)I'm free!
pumpkins age like white people
WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS
this must be what tumblr looks like irl
This is exactly what tumblr looks like IRL
(via dutchster)I REALLY LIKE CATS
Lonely only for you
Ah yes white boys
If you need me I’ll be in the bath watching lava on my television
15 texts i never sent
This made me cry
the last one made me lose it. I have so many tears running down my face
Literally sobbing reading these
Honestly going through a nasty break up.. This broke me down
This hurts my heart.
(Source: impactings)Jessie // Ohio
This is why I hate texting sometimes.
Every text conversation between me and my siblings summarized in a nutshell
This speaks to me on a spiritual level.
This is me. Frfr.
(via aerabellathegreatt)The Sweet Life of Marknificent
Soon after suspecting our apartment was haunted, this shows up parked on the street below us.
Run far away
No. Don’t run. Bake an apple pie and make a salad. Chill all the beer in the house. Put on your sexiest clothes and MAKE US PROUD.
BUT NOT SAM, DON’T PICK SAM, YOU’LL DIE
(via silverlullabies)Battling Nightmares with Daydreams
no but imagine the tally marks turning black if their love is requited.
and then imagine the tally marks becoming a scar when the one they love dies.
Imagine someone with no tally marks meeting someone with 50 tally marks
Imagine someone with no tally marks starting to like someone with all tally marks scarred
imagine aromantics with no tally marks laughing at this tally mark bullshit system
imagine someone afraid of being in love suddenly getting a tally mark
imagine someone married with a single nice black tally mark has a new one just appear
imagine someone with a single scarred mark that refuses to love again gets a new mark and it’s black
imagine someone who falls in love too easily having a lot of marks
imagine nurses at old people homes taking care of people with scarred marks, black marks, and no marks
Imagine a dolphin with human legs. Like a normal fucking dolphin except it gets up and walks around on human legs. Wouldn’t that be fucking nuts. Just my contribution to this post.